Never did I ever think…… No wait, I did think it though. The week leading up to race day, all I could remember thinking to myself is sub 2 and 1:58/59. The thought of 2:01/02 may have crossed my mind. But only fleeting. Then again, sub 2 and 1:58/59. That’s exactly how I said it. “Sub 2. 1:58/59.” And that’s exactly how the race ended. But better………

I started in group B where runners in this group are expected to finish the race between 1:50 – 2:00. When I arrived in the zone, I immediately saw the 2hr pacers with their balloons bobbing up and down in the air. I knew this wasn’t good. I was advised to stay clear of pacers as they’re a distraction and mess up my mental game. But by then it was inevitable. I accepted what I was up against and next thing you know, we were off! Considering the 2hr pacers, I immediately told myself to ironically (in no particular order) run my own race regardless and to stick as close to them as possible. I thought that running behind them with at least a distance of a few meters will be enough for me to sprint past them near the finish line and just scrape through with a sub 2. During the race, I learnt that there was another pair of 2hr pacers somewhere up the back. So basically I was running at the front of the 2hr bus. Knowing this, I told myself not to let the last pair of 2hr pacers pass me and continue sticking to the front.

I think at about the 5KM mark, I started refreshing the distance. I told myself, “OK, now get to 7. No wait. Just get to 6. It’s OK, Yelsha. Just get to 6.” Then when I got to 7KMs, I took an Endura gel. Slowly but surely, I consumed this gel. It fuelled me to another few KMs and I felt good. The 1st pair of 2hr pacers were still in sight. Just after the 11KM mark and before the turn around point, I noticed I had ran past them! Then it started showering and I thought, “Oh no. Please don’t escalate to rain!” Luckily, the showers were brief. A lady that was running alongside me yelled out to her friend, “If you want a sub 2, then stick with me. I’ll get you there!” Oh boy. Another “pacer”. I shook that thought away and took back the control. Also, I can’t recall at what point the elite runners ran past. But as they did, I clapped and cheered them on. I tried not to get too carried away. I caught myself just in time and reset my focus.

The next few KMs were me talking to myself to just get to the next KM. “OK Yelsha. Get to 10KMs. Get to 11. Get to 12.” And to keep my mind busy, I counted how many more KMs left to go using my fingers. So as my Garmin buzzed to 12KMs, I counted, “OK Yelsha. That’s 12KMs down. So 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21KMs. That’s another 9KMs. You’ve got this. Get to 13KMs.” At 14KMs, I took another Endura gel. But only after what felt like a struggle to tear it open. Then I thought to myself, “Only 7KMs more to go, Yelsha. Another 2KMs and you’ve a parkrun. You’ve got this!”

When I neared a parkrun, I thought, “That’s like <30mins til the finish, Yelsha!” But boy did these last 5KMs feel like the toughest. I counted down to 3 more KMs. I almost felt like my mind was slipping away because my body felt like it was fatiguing. But I remembered that this is normal. Just push through it as you’re not even past 40% done (considering the 40% rule). Plus, there are other runners out there running 42KMs and you’re only running half the distance with only 3KMs left til the finish. Get it together!

The last 3KMs were a bit of a blur. But I remember stopping my Garmin vividly as I crossed the finish line and to see 1:56:29 staring back at me…. Gobsmacked! Ironically, the half marathon took me that long to complete. But my goodness, did it finish in a flash! It was the fastest half I’ve ever ran and I did not stop at all. Historically, I’d stop at the drink stations and consume my drink ever so carefully and then try to make up for lost time afterwards. This time, I grabbed a cup of water and gulped down some water as best I could WHILST I ran.

The water dripped down my chin which I wiped away with my hands. And my nose was on tap! I blew it a few times using my black singlet. My fingers and mouth were sticky from the Endura gels I had consumed. Yes, I was one ugly and awkward runner! But I had a mission. I was in control. It was my sub 2 to run. And I did it!

At the finish line, I had flashbacks of how I felt during my training runs. I was struggling so bad mentally and it was discouraging. And then to be on the other side of that finish line and feel that sense of achievement knowing what I’ve overcome. It’s indescribable and I don’t think I’ll ever have the words to truly convey it. If you were to talk to me about it now, you’d think I’d just finished cutting onions! Even as I edit this post nearly over a week since the race, I still get emotional just thinking about it!

It truly is incredible to think how strong the mind is. I was struggling mentally during my training runs and luckily, I managed to pull through during a tempo run that was less than a week out from race day. It was proof that I had what it takes to win. When the legs want to run but the mind gives up. During this race however, I reminded my mind who was in control. Physically, I felt strong and capable. It was my mind that got me through it.

For this, I have my running coach, Kel to thank. And David Goggins.